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If you’re like many workers, at one time or another you’ve found yourself stuck in a job or career that you want to break out of but don’t know where to begin. So you keep swirling around in the soup of disillusion and frustration, asking, “Why did this happen?” or “Why did I get here?” or “Why me?”—questions that paradoxically can actually keep you stuck, according to Britt Frank, psychotherapist and author of The Science of Stuck: Breaking Through Inertia To Find Your Path Forward.
Whether you're looking to sleep better, learn to meditate, or just feel happier, our favorites have a remedy for anything that ails you.
Psst… hey… you with the resolution to do things differently this year—how’s that going? If you’re like most people, by now you’ll have likely either dropped your New Year’s resolutions altogether or be totally fried by your efforts to stick to them.
Speakers at the 2022 Women's Summit do their part to inspire attendees by talking about perseverance and resilience — and busting a few myths along the way.
The theme of the 2022 Women's Summit was momentum, and the event's speakers provided nearly 500 attendees in Overland Park with tools and advice to propel them into 2023.
You may have heard about the upcoming Olivia Wilde–directed thriller, Don’t Worry Darling, because of its promising reviews. (It will be released September 23, but premiered at the Venice International Film Festival [PDF] earlier this month.) Or it may be on your radar because of the off-camera drama around the cast’s and crew’s purported feuds, snubs, bad blood, and affairs of the heart (including a romance between director, Wilde, and star, Harry Styles).
Welcome to Solve for Stuck.
Whether or not you identify as someone with lifelong mental health challenges, we’ve all been slammed by the events of the past few years. Whether it’s sex and relationship issues, career conundrums, family struggles, or compulsive behaviors (doom-scrolling anyone?), there’s no area of life that’s immune to stuckness. The good news? There’s a reason we get stuck, and it’s not due to laziness, craziness, or lack of motivation. With just a little bit of information, we can break through even the most stubborn patterns of thinking and doing.
That said, there is no "right" way to address trauma—but Frank has learned a few techniques to process buried emotions. If you'd like to try some new methods, perhaps give her expert tips a go.
“I’m nervous about this conference trip,” I said to Mrs. Dr. C. “We just moved into our new home and don’t have phones hooked up. What if something happens while I’m away?”
With a smile, Mrs. Dr. C responded, “I’m a strong New England woman. I’ll be OK. You have been looking forward to this for months.”
To put this into perspective, this was the late 1990s, a time when landline telephones were the standard and cellphones were still years from everyday use. Mrs. Dr. C could only wave me goodbye and wait for my return.
“A hot mess of a disaster” is how trauma therapist and author Britt Frank describes her former self. After recovering from addiction and her own mental health issues, Frank decided to go to graduate school at KU and become a therapist in her mid-thirties. Now, she has her own private practice in Overland Park.
In addition to running her own practice, Frank gives lectures on healing and trauma work at different events and festivals like the Kansas City Wellness Consortium.
Restoring the dialogue and forgiving yourself after an argument allows you to find solutions and preserve your couple.
It’s difficult to “think” your way out of emotional dysregulation, says Britt Frank, a licensed psychotherapist in Kansas City, Missouri, and author of the upcoming book “The Science of Stuck.”
Medically reviewed by N. Simay Gökbayrak, PhD — Written by Hilary I. Lebow and Sandra Silva Casabianca on April 6, 2022
Do you start your day by checking your social media accounts? And end your day the same way?
Maybe you pop back in throughout the day for quick check-ins — but before you realize it, you’ve scrolled through recent posts for nearly an hour.
This isn’t all that uncommon. After all, social media use is pretty widespread.
In the United States alone, 72 percent of people reported using some type of social media in 2021, according to Pew Research Center.
A 2018 study found that almost 70 percent of the participants reported checking their social media in bed before going to sleep.
The point of an apology is to recognize hurt feelings, express regret about the mistake or misunderstanding, and provide a plan for avoiding a repeat. Yet the phrase "I'm sorry" conveys none of that…
Rather than offering apologies, making amends is the fastest path out of stuck in a relationship.
By Britt Frank
WELL-BEING: The secret to effective self-talk is to turn your inner monologue into an inner dialogue.
By Britt Frank
Excerpted from The Science of Stuck by Britt Frank, LSCSW. Reprinted with permission from TarcherPerigee. Copyright 2022.
It happens to the best of us. We check in on a quasi-friend, acquaintance, high school rival, ex-girlfriend, maybe-future boyfriend, current co-worker, former co-worker, possible employee, whoever, and as we are flipping through their Instagram pictures, our finger slips and we hit “like.”
There is no good explanation for why we were looking at their pictures from September 2012, but it happened. So we panic. In my most recent case, I unliked the picture immediately, but still feared that I might have been caught.
One of my favorite parts of being the editorial director of the Next Big Idea Club is putting together the longlist of seasonal nominees (aka “Panio’s List”). In an era of increasing reliance on AI and algorithms, I maintain an editorial approach that is defiantly old-fashioned: I review advance copies and press releases of hundreds of upcoming books, and then select the most promising, thought-provoking, must-read nonfiction titles of the season—all based on the preferences of our curators, member feedback from previous seasons, and my own 20+ years of publishing experience.
“We’re very quick to label our ‘stuckness’ as a problem with laziness or motivation. It isn’t.”
By Adam Bulger
“Reviewing how far you have come—and where you would like to be—is beneficial, say our experts.”
Nashia Baker, Associate Digital Editor at Martha Stewart
People love to set goals, and setting objectives can lead to meaningful change. But let's face it: We aren’t necessarily great at sticking to those goals -- especially New Year’s resolutions.
By Michelle Konstantinovsky
Medically Reviewed by Brunilda Nazario, MD on January 03, 2022
SWY: What is the difference between trauma and grief?
BF: Trauma is an injury to the brain. Trauma is when our internal alarm system gets stuck on “on” and our bodies constantly react as if they were about to be attacked by a tiger. Trauma can heal, but that requires access to resources and a safe environment, which unfortunately is not experienced by everyone due to systemic oppression and environmental factors. Grief is an experience. It is an imprint on our hearts, minds, and bodies after a loss. Grief isn’t something to “get over,” but rather something that becomes part of our life story. Grief is like the weather – sometimes the days are beautiful, sometimes they are brutal. You don’t “get over” grief any more than you can “get over” weather.
Britt Frank is quoted in this Psychology Today article on the complexities of Mother’s Day:
“My friend (who happens to be a psychotherapist), Britt Frank, MSW, LSCSW, SEP, wrote recently about “the Mother Wound” and how difficult Mother’s Day is for us.
She writes, “Mother’s Day can be a REALLY triggering, guilt-ridden, fearful and confusing day for many people… For some, Mother’s Day is a wonderful day filled with family and good memories. For many others, it is a terribly sad, aching, confusing, lonely, and painful day. You are not alone and you are not crazy.”
Read the full article here: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-doctor-nonsense/202005/mothers-day-is-nonsense
Britt Frank is quoted as a guest expert in this Deseret News article on helicopter parenting:
“Well-meaning parents who do for their children what the children can do for themselves creates significant damage,” said neuropsychotherapist Britt Frank of Mission, Kansas.
Read the full article here: https://www.deseret.com/indepth/2019/11/29/20966851/helicopter-parenting-teens-college-age-kids-thrive-parents
Britt Frank is quoted as a guest expert in this NBC Better Online article on identifying a narcissist :
Narcissists are master manipulators
“Narcissists are notoriously difficult to deal with because they are masters of manipulation,” says Britt Frank, a licensed master social worker. “They are skilled at finding pressure points and know exactly what to say or do to push our most vulnerable and wounded inner parts."